Feeling Melancholy

It’s icy and snowy conditions in the winter here, there’s no Ikebana class these three months and with all these love letters, I have felt trapped, saddened and emotionally vulnerable, there’s no joy in life anymore! I think I might have been suffering depression for a while! I miss my husband’s love, although I get a lot of my children’s love and support.

From 1963 to 1968, back then there were no computers, no iPhones, the telephone was not popular either, the only way for our communication was through letters back and forth. I was his first love and love at the first sight!   He was a practical, realistic, scientific and hard working gentle young man, and I was totally different from him, I was artistic, loved literature and classical music, spoiled, financially free and fragile young lady. It’s hard for two people with such different personalities to spark chemistry. But he said it’s totally fine and we could be complementary for each other, perfectly! For all those years I was moved by his patience and persistent love. I gradually fell in love with him. Finally, I realized he was the truest person I could rely on for a husband. Besides, my parents loved him too, they knew he would take good care of their beloved daughter, protect her and be trusted. We always spent more time apart than together, rarely seeing each other (a year of military service and busy young surgeon in residence’s schedule) before we tied the knot. But this didn’t affect our love at all, our steadfast love is pure and lasts forever! 

March 31, 2026, will be our 58 years anniversary. I truly miss my husband, I need his love back, he’s not the same person he used to be since he has this terrible disease dementia. He still calls me Reiko (玲子), he still is a very pleasant, gentle old man, capable to do most of things physically, but mentally confused …I am not young anymore. I feel no future and very sad. Every time I reread his love letters, suddenly I feel like I am back in my youth, a pretty lovely young lady again, I was so loved and spoiled by him! It really has comforted me. 

Falling in Love Again

My daughter found those letters in the shoe box during the period of moving process. Altogether, more than two hundred love letters from my husband, written six decades ago. They covered from his young age as a medical student, in internship, after graduating from medical school, then a year of military service (in Taiwan this was a must) then becoming a young doctor, for all those five, six years of a long love journey until our marriage. I was engaged in June 1966 (right before he left for military service), a 22 years old, a music teacher at junior high school in my hometown Kwansi. A beautiful, charming and elegant young lady (by then everyone said that I was).  I feel so sad and heartbroken that why I didn’t discover all these letters sooner, when he was still healthy and didn’t have dementia. Now it’s too late, he has forgotten how deeply he once loved me, and now we can’t share happiness, anger, sadness and joy (喜怒哀樂) together anymore! Deep down I know he still loves me dearly! His everlasting love for me and his passion for medicine, his kindness and caring ……My heart aches every time I read his letters, I can’t help my tears just running down! 

It just dawned on me that why all the letters appeared again, allowing me to reflect back to the scene gradually. It’s God’s will to tell me that right now, what to do? I was so touched when I read all his love letters, I just felt like I am falling in love with him again! I would try to do the same, pay attention to him with more love, support and care. 

Two individuals become one arrangement 

Red rose and carnation 

Holiday Arrangement using Glass Container

It’s been a long while since I had posted an arrangement for Christmas holiday.  For the entire month I just had no desire to do any Ikekana. I think I suffered a deep depression! (I might talk about it later).  We have been moving here for more than two months now. It’s been so cold! We had 15 inches of snow the other day and then we got 34 inches of snow on yesterday (1/25/2026). It’s a historic winter snow storm across the region. Before the day of the snow storm started, my daughter in-law and I went to Kingston area for food shopping and I bought a bouquet of flowers, thinking about making an arrangement finally! (1/27/2026)

Materials: The branches and pine I cut from my yard, the others from part of bouquet. The glass container from class required that I keep it in mind. 

Merry Christmas to all - Happy Holidays

The holidays are here. My materials are limited, I only have two poinsettias from my daughter and friend as a gift, immediately! It feels Christmas spirit in the air! 

The same arrangement from previous one, I just changed the poinsettia from red to white, 

Holiday Table Arrangement - Poinsettia and Snow Scene

It seems like winter arrived early in Rhinebeck, NY.  It’s colder here than where I used to live in Washington Crossing, PA. The temperature difference between the two places is about three to seven degrees. We had our second snowfall today; it covered the first one! The temperature is not warm enough to melt it. Watching the snow fall through the window made me calm and relaxed for a while. (12/10/2025)

In front of my house is Orchard Street 

My front yard 

I Was There for The Last Time - Nandina Arrangement

Our house sold unexpectedly quickly! The settlement is around the corner. Therefore, I went back to the Washington Crossing, PA house with my daughter on Saturday (11/29/2025). It was the only time I went back there since we moved out; to see what I left behind. We spent almost the whole day there to clean up. One of my daughter’s bedroom set went free to a good home, paintings to a person who knows art, many books donated to library, the Irish harp free to a musical therapist who plays for the elderly and those in hospice…etc.  To move out of our beloved home, it’s just not that easy and was emotionally heartbreaking! I thought my husband and I were going to grow old there together until the end.

Bye bye for many plants that I planted for Ilkebana 
materials, nandina is one of them 

“ Late Autumn Greetings”

 As Autumn deepened and the holiday season begins. This time of year can evoke feelings of sadness due to the lack of sunshine and especially for my husband’s Dementia, but it also perceive as happiness of holiday family gatherings and soon will be enjoying the beauty of winter wonderland! Actually we have the first accumulated snow (2 inches) today in Rhinebeck. 

Dogwood, mum and pine / ceramic (11/23/2025)

Freestyle - Using Leftover Materials

We have moved to the new home for more than three weeks now, the house is still a mess, it will take a long time to get to the condition as I pleased! It’s a blessings that our children live in nearby and they have been helping us throughout the moving, hoping us to settle down as soon as possible!

I had my first class lessons at the new place on 11/10/2025. After home, I was able to make an another arrangement using leftover flowers that Hata Sensei prepared for us.  (11/14/2025)

Special Materials and Arrangements for Feastive Occasions or Arrangements for Celebrations

This is the third lesson;  “Autumn Festival Celebrations” is my theme. The bittersweet, branches and pine I cut from my yard, fall color mum provided, I added two apples to complete this arrangement. 

Final arrangement in the class  (11/10/2025)

Tried to arrange at home, no flowers yet 

My First New Class at Pound Ridge Library

I’m ready for my first new class on 11/10/2025. It’s with the Dutchess Putnam Westchester Sogetsu Group. Hata Sensei teaches here too. I am so happy and fortunate that I still have the opportunity to learn Ikebana under her guidance! Even though it needs one hour and twenty minutes to get to the library through Taconic parkway. Hata Sensei and I are so happy to meet again! We have 17 students today, most of them are new faces to me.  The difference between DPW Sogetsu Group and Mainline Branch are the materials, they provide flowers for you (purchased from the group), not prepared by ourself. I think both have its own advantages! I cut my branches from my new home backyard, and used provided fall color mum which were just what I need.

The subjects are: 1). Variation No.1 Slanting Style Moribana;  2). Variation No.4  Upright Style Nageire;  3). Special Materials and Arrangements for Festive Occasions or Arrangements for Celebrations. The first two lessons are basic styles, Sensei would like us to practice repeatedly until we reach mastery the skills to perfection!

Lesson (1) Moribana (suiban)

Lesson (2) Nageire (tall vase)