Everlasting Love

This was a letter that I randomly picked out from my husband’s many letters, that he wrote six decades ago. Here’s the translation for English version.

Dearest Lynn (玲):

I was so delighted to receive your letter yesterday! I haven’t seen you and we haven’t been together for so many days! I miss you very very much!  Have you ever heard of anyone not sleeping for 36 hours? I was so busy delivering babies and …(he was on Ob/Gynecology rotation, on his shift). I was so sorry for not writing you a letter sooner! You must be anxious and restless! I am so sorry! But you must understand, to be a doctor is not hard but to be a good doctor is a tough task, a lot of sacrifice and dedication. To be a good doctor should be respected, right? 

That evening, I was so excited to see you, you looked well and healthy! Although we only had a couple of hours together, it left me with such happiness, sweet memories! Your apple red cheeks, smile and joyful look, I couldn’t tell you enough how pretty and lovely you were! My heart was filled with love and longing for you. I didn’t want to leave you, but this was only a temporary goodbye, until next time when I am off duty, I will see you again.           

 I love you and I miss you!                 深愛妳的常吉(Chanchi)  10/3/1966

Everlasting Love. pine and Japanese anemone 

Feeling Melancholy

It’s icy and snowy conditions in the winter here, there’s no Ikebana class these three months and with all these love letters, I have felt trapped, saddened and emotionally vulnerable, there’s no joy in life anymore! I think I might have been suffering depression for a while! I miss my husband’s love, although I get a lot of my children’s love and support.

From 1963 to 1968, back then there were no computers, no iPhones, the telephone was not popular either, the only way for our communication was through letters back and forth. I was his first love and love at the first sight!   He was a practical, realistic, scientific, hard working and strong young man, and I was totally different from him, I was artistic, loved literature and classical music, spoiled, financially free and fragile young lady. It’s hard for two people with such different personalities to spark chemistry. But he said it’s totally fine and we could be complementary for each other, perfectly!  For all those years I was moved by his patience and persistent love. I gradually fell in love with him. Finally, I realized he was the truest person I could rely on for a husband. Besides, my parents loved him too, they knew he was the one that he would take good care of their beloved daughter, protect her and be trusted. We always spent more time apart than together, rarely seeing each other (a year of military service and busy young surgeon in residence’s schedule) before we tied the knot. But this didn’t affect our love at all, our steadfast love is pure and lasts forever! 

March 31, 2026, will be our 58 years anniversary. I truly miss my husband, I need his love back, he’s not the same person he used to be since he has this terrible disease dementia. He still calls me Reiko (玲子), he still is a very pleasant, gentle old man, capable to do most of things physically, but mentally confused …I am not young anymore. I feel no future and very sad. Every time I reread his love letters, suddenly I feel like I am back in my youth, a pretty, lovely young lady again, I was so loved and spoiled by him! It really has comforted me. 

Hopefully spring is not so far away 

Falling in Love Again

My daughter found those letters in the shoe box during the period of moving process. Altogether, more than two hundred love letters from my husband, written six decades ago. They covered from his young age as a medical student, in internship, after graduating from medical school, then a year of military service (in Taiwan this was a must) then becoming a young doctor, for all those five, six years of a long love journey until our marriage. I was engaged in June 1966 (right before he left for military service), a 22 years old, a music teacher at junior high school in my hometown Kwansi. A beautiful, charming and elegant young lady (by then everyone said that I was).  I feel so sad and heartbroken that why I didn’t discover all these letters sooner, when he was still healthy and didn’t have dementia. Now it’s too late, he has forgotten how deeply he once loved me, and now we can’t share happiness, anger, sadness and joy (喜怒哀樂) together anymore! Deep down I know he still loves me dearly! His everlasting love for me and his passion for medicine, his kindness and caring ……My heart aches every time I read his letters, I can’t help my tears just running down! 

It just dawned on me that why all the letters appeared again, allowing me to reflect back to the scene gradually. It’s God’s will to tell me that right now, what to do? I was so touched when I read all his love letters, I just felt like I am falling in love with him again! I would try to do the same, pay attention to him with more love, support and care. 

Two individuals become one arrangement 

Red rose and carnation